The Deonn Chronicles

Clara's Halloween Trial Run

2009-10-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

I Miss my Blog...

2009-10-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

I have neglected my blog for longer than I have neglected the maintenance of my eyebrows...or eyebrow. I think it is time to give a little attention to both. Life has changed lots since the last time I posted. Here is a quick recap.

I moved to Downtown Seattle

I said goodbye to my '99 Saturn

My stepson turned 7.

My husband went to Texas for a week

I lost a few pounds

My friend Marie had a baby

I had a stomach bug.

I lost a few more pounds.

My baby turned one

I started directing a new project

I gained all the pounds back.

I started posting to my blog again

and here we are...

I don't have anything in particular to share.

I just missed my blog.

Tanning Salon Robber

2009-07-31T09:19:00.000-07:00

Western Washington is is being terrorized by what they call "The Tanning Salon Robber"

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/52141932.html

I don't know about you, but I would find out the whereabouts of a certain George Hamilton.

Inactive

2009-02-26T13:34:00.000-08:00

For some reason I was unable to get into my Blogger account. Nothing makes you want to do something more than being told you can't do it. I haven't posted anything for awhile, so it's possible I was put on inactive status.
How accurate a description that would be for me today. I have plans, Oh I have plans. I can also come up with a million reasons not to do them.

1. It snowed and it's icy out (well it was this morning, but I am still sticking with that)

2. The baby is sleeping and I don't want to wake her (lame excuse since she can sleep thru anything)

3. Um

4. Did I mention the baby is sleeping

5. and the ice?

Okay, so maybe there aren't a million things keeping me from being productive, just the usual laziness and procrastination. Okay, back to what I was doing...wait, was I doing anything? I don't remember.

Fun on a Stick

2008-11-20T15:42:00.000-08:00

This it what comes from letting Attila the Hun and Genghis Khan head up a brainstorming session for Target pool toys.
ouch
Their competitor, Vlad the Impaler, declined to comment

Get used to Disappointment

2008-11-18T12:25:00.001-08:00

Never too early to learn the frustration that comes with being a Seahawks fan.

Why I Rarely Post Anymore

2008-11-18T11:04:00.000-08:00

Ahh blogging. I have missed it so. I have plenty of excuses for not keeping up with this little online diary, but the truth is, besides everything baby, I don't have much else to say.

It's not that I don't love the mommy thing. I do! I just don't think anyone else finds my baby world as interesting as I do. We have all sat through people droning on about the cute things their baby just did, or their infants digestive health, or the difference between breastfeeding and bottle feeding and the advantages and disadvantages of the pacifier. Oh dear god I am boring myself! Even I don't find me interesting.

I love being a mom. Everyday I wake up surprised to see this strange and beautiful creature that is mine. (I suppose I would be even more surprised to wake up and find a creature that wasn't mine). I have everything I have ever wanted and while I am soooo happy to have wonderful husband, a great stepkid, a happy healthy baby, supportive friends and family and a fun job....well it doesn't make for a very amusing blog post...sorry

Okay the other reason I haven't posted is I usually have a baby in my arms. That makes posting one sentence on Facebook way more convenient that typing a coherant essay on blogger.
Facebook is just faster and easier and requires less attention span. Facebook is like the USA Today of personal online posting.

Halloween Greetings from Gatchaman, Minnie Mouse and Monkey

2008-11-01T17:52:00.000-07:00

This is the second Halloween in a row that I have not been sick! I am almost always sick on Halloween. I think it might be some psychosomatic way of getting out of the dressing up thing. I think when you work in the theatre you either love to wear costumes on Halloween or it just feels redundant. I am one of those theatre people that has never really enjoyed dressing up for Halloween. I am also one of those theatre people who doesn't really enjoy Karaoke.

I think the Halloween excitement thing is kinda catchy though. I am enjoying it as of late. I chalk that up to having a husband and a stepson who excitedly plan out their costumes months in advance. Mark had four fittings for his Gatchaman costume. (hand made by my friend Marta) He has wanted to be the 70's superhero since he was a four year old in Japan. Feeling a little lame at not having come up with anything to wear last night, I threw together a last minute Minnie Mouse costume. It was my attempt at festivity, It didn't really matter what I wore because when you are holding a baby in a monkey costume and your husband is dashing around in a white unitard...well nobody really cares that your costume is kinda lame.

We had some great costumes at our Halloween Shindig. My favorite was Lauren as the Hamburgler. However seeing my friends and former employers as Captain America and Catwoman was a little bit priceless

My Old People Magnet

2008-10-22T11:22:00.000-07:00

If you are single and trying to meet new people dating experts advise you to buy a dog. Walking your dog is a surefire way to strike up a conversation with others. If instead you would like to strike up a conversation with women over 60, I would advise you to have a baby.

Extra points if you are at Group Health. That place is teeming with older women.

OK, yes. This was just an excuse to post another picture.

Welcome Clara!

2008-10-17T14:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted for awhile, while I could blame it on having a baby and all that goes along with that. The truth is in the last few weeks of my pregnancy I had lots of time on my hands. I got just a wee bit addicted to Facebook. Yes, I, who swore I would never join a social networking website am a member of Facebook. My little addiction contributed to my lack of blogging. So all apologies aside....

The big news is Clara!

Clara Gena Hunt

Born 10/12/08 @ 2:33pm

8lbs 8oz

We have been rooming on the hospital until yesterday. Clara has a case of jaundice that requires she spend lots of time under special blue lights to reduce her bilirubin levels.

We were finally sent home with our own blue lights. Other than that she is pretty healthy and mellow and from a mom's perspective, dang cute.

Hold on a minute...

2008-10-01T15:51:00.001-07:00

T-Mobile has this new service where instead of making you wait on hold, they will call you back within an alotted time. I opted for this and they called me back within four minutes.

The computer that called me put me on hold.

I was calling to disconnect my service.

I am pretty sure I made the right choice.

Oh Dear God Make it Stop!

2008-09-24T21:34:00.000-07:00

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Mark found Smokey and the Bandit...Part 2. I think I have found my ultimate hell. I thought it was Flash Gordon...but I was wrong. I thought it was Build-A-Bear. Wrong again...It's Comcast on Demand.

Flash....Ahhhh

2008-09-24T21:28:00.000-07:00

Mark is currently forcing me to watch the opening credits to Flash Gordon.
He is really into his opening credits.

Kathy Griffin Was Right?!

2008-09-24T12:54:00.001-07:00

Stop the presses!
Did you hear that Clay Aiken is gay?!
The only person that seems surprised by this news is my husband.
Next thing you know someone (besides me) will tell Mark that Gordy, his massage therapist on Capitol Hill is a homosexual!
Who's next...Richard Simmons?

Okay if your attention span is too short to read the article, you have to at least look at the picture.
Is it just me or does Clay Aiken look like the original host of "Who Want's to Be a Millionaire?"
Remember the scary British Lady?

The Soothing Sounds of Alice in Chains

2008-09-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

I know that football games are loud.
I have been to Seahawks games at Quest field before.
It wasn't that today's game was louder than any other, it's just different to be watching a game when you are pregnant.
The baby is either a huge fan of the Seahawks or totally freaked out by the noise. She was kicking like crazy.
You know the game is loud when the baby calms down at halftime with the performance of Alice in Chains.

Some Childhood Photos

2008-09-13T16:09:00.001-07:00

Tim Thompson, our family friend and wedding photographer included some photos from my youth with our wedding package.

As in most of my childhood photos I look as if I just woke up.

and did I mention I was raised by Lesbian Circus Clowns...check out those pants!!!!!!!

Grrr

2008-09-11T09:48:00.000-07:00

It's dangerous to have a blog when you are in the mood to vent.
So I shall write nothing.

Redneck Wedding Photo

2008-09-02T22:01:00.000-07:00

A pic from our
Labor Day Redneck Barefooot and Pregnant Post-Wedding Pre-Baby Hoedown.
This is our traditional feeding each other wedding cake photo
Our wedding cake was made up of Hostess treats and Little Debbie Zebra Cakes.

For more pictures check out photos by JR

Ariel, Belle, Skimbleshanks, Rum Tum Tugger, Debbie and Tiffany

2008-08-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

My husband has certain likes and dislikes that might lead one to question his heterosexuality. I will vouch for the man and say he is indeed straight, (his affinity for Andrew Lloyd Webber aside) However, it's not always easy to defend the honor of one so enamored with Disney musicals, musical theatre and 80's pop.
One conversation that often comes up among Mark and friends is the Ariel vs. Belle comparison. I don't care what side you take. Mark is obviously in the Ariel camp. I don't know if it's the fish body or that later in the movie she becomes every man's dream. She has the perfect body of a Disney human without the ability to speak. Most men prefer Belle, but I can honestly say without any sarcasm...Mark is not like most men.
I'm used to the argument.
It's not as fay as the argument between two actor friends of mine over which cat they would be cast as in the musical Cats.
"I would totally be Rum Tum Tugger"
"You would not, I can't see you as a Rum Tum Tugger...you'd be...Skimbleshanks!"
"You take that back! I would soooo not be Skimbleshanks...you would be Skimbleshanks"
and so on.
I relay the Cats story so that the Ariel vs. Belle argument didn't sound so nellie. Unfortunately, Mark topped himself with a new argument.
"Debbie Gibson vs. Tiffany"
and then corrected himself by saying
"It's actually Deborah now."

Baby's First Halloween

2008-08-10T16:24:00.001-07:00

Our baby (We call her Xanadu at the moment) is due in early October. I came up with this great idea for her first Halloween Costume.
I explained it to some co-workers who just looked at me with confusion and disdain...with a little tinge of fear.
Here is my brilliant concept. I want to have someone make a dingo costume for Xanadu and just have her little face poking out. I would dress as Meryl Streep and I could be all "A Dingo ate My Baby." Yeah, my co-workers responded with....cricket...cricket...
Does working with children and having babies mean you can't laugh at anything?
Come on....
A Dingo ate my Baby! Hahahahaha
not even a courtesy laugh?

What Next? Small Locust Plague?

2008-08-10T15:12:00.000-07:00

Nothing like being house bound to inspire one to post to their blog.
If you have been following the many misadventures of Deonn over the last few weeks you already know about the minor car accidents, small kitchen fire and the next door stabbing (btw, the Windsong has been murder-free for 8 days now! I really want to put that on their Now Leasing Sign)
Today's installment of Many Misadventures of and Emotionally Fragile Pregnant Woman include a condo flood, more specifically...our condo. What better way to spend a Sunday afternoon than waiting for the property management company to assess damages? It's okay though, they should be here in about...oh...an hour and a half...ago.

My Life in the Suburbs

2008-08-05T17:57:00.000-07:00

Apparently minor car accidents, neighborhood murders and teaching theatre to teenagers isn't enough drama for me.
It just ain't an exciting night without a small kitchen fire.
All is well, though we did find out our smoke alarm will probably only alert us once the entire condo complex has gone up in flames.
My gratitude to Justin from upstairs for fire extinguishment. Probably the fact I didn't burn down his condo was thanks enough.

Drama in the 'Quah

2008-08-02T12:52:00.001-07:00

Well I was going to write about being rear-ended for the second time in a month. I was at a full stop both times but the folks behind me had another agenda. I'm okay except for some annoying neck pain.
My minor car accident story becomes less interesting as details are coming in about a murder next door.
That's right folks a good ol' fashioned chest stabbin' next door at the Windsong Apartments.
I was in no way involved. Details are sketchy. It sounds like a lover's spat and I promise you it has nothing to do with this.
The police are still on the scene...and there are a bunch of Krispy Creme boxes in our dumpster. I kid you not. Coincidence?

Bite of Seattle

2008-07-21T11:26:00.000-07:00

One must come up with alternate forms of gluttony when forced to give up on alcohol.

We attended the Bite of Seattle this Weekend...or as I like to call it Pregnancy Paradise.

Mark sampled his first funnel cake.
Had some gator on a stick and red beans and rice
And a sundae...and some meatballs (not pictured) And I got thiiiis big.

The boys definitely out-ate the girls (even the pregnant one) but we held our own.

Sure indications that you are getting old...

2008-07-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

Our exciting Saturday night...
Mark and I both took our blood pressure on the machine at the Issaquah QFC.

Past-Hell Tones

2008-07-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to Babies R Us to register. I felt like I had fallen into a Care Bears episode where everything in sight was freakin' pastel. I don't hate pastel, I would just like to find some baby items in colors other than Jordan Almonds. Apparently bright colors spook the wee ones. I just wanted to find some fun red stuff. It's not like I was trying to outfit the nursery in Gothic Dungeon tones. Everything for baby girls is just so...precious.

Competitive Blogging

2008-07-15T21:52:00.001-07:00

Mark has decided to post to his blog everyday. Now I feel like an underachiever, Not that I am competitive or anything. So I am posting to my blog. See? I can post daily too. Here is a random picture. We like to play "Count the Spelling Errors" at the Front St. Market. So there, I have posted more recently than Mark now. Not that it's a competition....

We Do Everything Alike....

2008-07-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Mark started a blog today...cuz he wants to be just like me. Now that we are married we have decided to do everything alike. We will like all of the same music and movies and food and theatre and sports and I just love Dungeons and Dragons and the Little Mermaid now. Mark loves watching the food channel now and can't get enough of freaky deaky foreign films. We both still hate camping and Oh yeah...I'm allergic vegetables.

Today's task is to teach Mark to pee sitting down.

Who's Buried in Grant's Tomb?

2008-07-07T21:36:00.000-07:00

The difference between men and women...well at least Mark and Deonn

My highlight of the trip was a night time carriage ride through Central Park

Mark's highlight was a visit to Grant's Tomb.

He was straight when I married him....

2008-07-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

...and while you might think I married a homosexual, I think the white socks prove otherwise.

Happy 4th of July!

2008-07-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

Here you can see my new husband copping a feel of Lady Liberty

again...

And again.

New York City Tourists

2008-07-03T07:59:00.000-07:00

In our quest to do all things touristy yesterday, we finally saw the Statue of Liberty kinda close from our harbor tour boat. You can see any one of Mark's 10,000 photos of Lady Liberty

here. along with our other mega tourist pics. We also stopped at Grant's tomb...just to see who was buried there. Not sure what's on tap for today. It's 11:00 am and I haven't made it out of bed yet. Still having a great time, just slowing down a little.

Xanadu on Broadway

2008-06-30T20:35:00.000-07:00

At Mark's insistance we saw Xanadu. I had to tease him more than a little

"What's gay about Xanadu?" he asks. I pointed to this poster.

I'm glad we saw it. It was tons of fun, ridiculous and over the top. Lots of disco balls and roller skates, sassy 80's costumes. one of the actors even remarks "It's like children's theatre for 40 year old gay people. "

Greetings from New York

2008-06-30T08:21:00.000-07:00

Greetings from the Upper West Side!
We are here at our fabulous Inn New York City.
So far it is all about food, my man and musical theatre. It's my dream honeymoon...Okay I probably should have listed Mark first.
We were fortunate enough to catch the final performance of Curtains.
and we caught a great thunderstorm!

We are heading off to Coney Island for hot dogs and roller coasters...well hot dogs at least.

Think Pink

2008-06-27T08:48:00.001-07:00

After our third ultrasound we finally know that the Alien Frog Baby Hunt or Cletis the Fetus is a girl. In celebration we have already grounded her and shut down her Myspace page.

My Shotgun Wedding

2008-06-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

JR was kind enough to act as our unofficial wedding photographer.

Here is just a small sample.

or If you would like to see more Pictures

Have I mentioned I'm six months pregnant?

What party would be complete without the Hunt Boys rendition of "Mr Roboto"

Or a skipping competition

a re-match

And a civil war re-enactment
complete with dead people.

I told you it was a shotgun wedding!

Just Married!

2008-06-24T07:05:00.000-07:00

Well it's official.

I am now a married woman!

This isn't the best picture of the happy couple, (and happy child waiting for cake) but it was the first one that was e-mailed to me.

It was a lovely day!

Wedding Approaches!

2008-06-19T10:18:00.000-07:00

No turning back now.
The church is booked and paid for, the wedding attire is rented, bought, altered and fabulous. The place cards are made. Wine has been purchased. The flowers are en-route as well as the the future in-laws.
Three days left to freak out. ...and without the benefit of alcohol.
I miss you Bombay Sapphire.
The mom's are hosting a pre-rehearsal reception for 14, with food enough for 50... ..lumberjacks. (well Asian lumberjacks as they have a smaller appetite and would appreciate our Pacific Rim menu more than your average Paul Bunyan)
Plenty of food, so if you happen to be near my mom's house tonight around 7:00ish stop on by and have some Gyoza, Lumpia and other Asian inspired ginger-free yumminess and you can help Mark's Dad out with the Coors Light.
I am off to go wander around aimlessly trying to remember what I think I am forgetting.

Movie and Waffles

2008-06-03T09:11:00.001-07:00

Normally I don't use my blog to drone on about what I ate for lunch and the latest movies I've viewed. But.... Last night we went to the Big Picture in Redmond to see OSS117. I wasn't terribly excited to see it, but we are big fans of the Big Picture, we had a gift certificate and had no interest in seeing their Seattle offering of "Sex in the City". So it was "Film In the Suburbs" instead. I would highly recommend this bizarro French spy movie. I would also recommend seeing it at the Big Picture. Though I didn't partake in the alcoholic beverages it's fun to have the option. I can only imagine how entertaining it would have been with a couple Martinis.

Oh and I had Eggo Waffles for lunch...probably time to go grocery shopping.

Wedding Music Hell

2008-06-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

We are currently going through our music collection with DJ Dennis in hopes of coming up with a playlist for our wedding. I don't know that I have ever looked at Mark's music collection. It was probably wise to accept the engagment ring first.
I suppose my evening can be summed up with Mark's latest remark.
"Now this is the best Sailor Moon collection!"
This was said shortly after he tossed Dennis the soundrack to Titanic and Motley Crue.
At the moment I am blogging instead of using my veto power. I used a little of my power early on arguing against the Superman theme song and the Star Wars soundtrack.
They think I am not listening because I am not arguing with them.
I just listen to the conversation.
"Dennis, Why has Cocktail been vetoed!?"
"Because it's kinda gay"Dennis answers, while Mark is pulling out his Little Mermaid 2, demo album and one of his multiple versions of Phantom of the Opera.
"I'm being serious on most of these!" Mark assures us
"I know, that's what worries me"
"Ahh Bugs Bunny on Broadway!!!!" says Mr. Short attention span.
Debbi Gibson has just made an appearance.
Kill me.
"Ahhhh! This one are Sailor Moon songs done in the style of classical composers!"
I suppose I should mention he's been drinking.
Oh...one more gem before I go
"You know what makes me even gayer?!..Back to Titanic! the sequel to the Titanic soundtrack"
I think it's time to step in.

Frog Baby's Refusal to Cooperate

2008-05-28T12:17:00.001-07:00

We aren't sure whether it's a boy or a girl but we are pretty sure it's a conservative.
We had an ultrasound yesterday, hoping to find out the sex.
Our baby is either stubborn, overly modest or one of those right to privacy zealots.
The pictures look like pretty much all baby ultrasound pictures.
So according to the photos we are have a gender neutral alien frog baby.
Awww.

Our Recent Weekend in Boise

2008-05-05T18:47:00.001-07:00

Why Boise you ask?

We found a cheap flight to Boise, and decided to book it, just to stay here

the Fire and Ice Cave at the Anniversary Inn (formerly the Mammoth Ice Cave)

The Inn is kinda secluded so we stopped and asked for directions

Some nice explorers and an Indian helped us find our way.

We thanked them by having a small child build a fire at their feet.

The Indian is not a fan of Mapquest.

We only got a little lost and dehydrated but luckily help arrived in the the form of a rescue dog.

We thought he was trying to tell us that Timmy was stuck in a well, but now we think he was trying to warn us against driving to Idaho City...What do you expect from a drunk dog.

Did you find the guy with the banjo?

But wait there is more to Idaho city than that...

Actually there wasn't...

We found our way back to the Fire and Ice cave for a little dinner.

They do taste like chicken.

Stay tuned their may be more pictures from Boise...If you care, and if I remember.

Spring Cleaning...Sort Of

2008-04-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if it's nesting or spring cleaning or simply battling the spiders for squatting rights, but I have spent the day cleaning. Yes folks you heard right! Deonn is cleaning of her own free will. What sparked this miraculous event? I don't know.
Mark listens to me bitch everyday about how fat I'm getting and how none of my clothes fit anymore. I tried on pretty much everything in my wardrobe but instead of hanging anything back up I just flung it on the chair next to my bed in disgust. I have been adding to the pile everyday, to the point where the chair is neither useable nor visible.
I tried to clean out some boxes under the bed. The first box I pulled out was pretty much empty except for a big ass spider. (he is less impressive at the moment, I immobilized him with Scrubbing Bubbles and threw the box out onto the porch...he looks much smaller know in his puddle of bathroom cleaner) I have not returned to what lies beneath the bed.
I started on the kitchen, I threw away everything in the freezer. We had some queso dip that was so freezer burnt it had a glacier forming on top. The refrigerator was a little ickier so I ignored it and moved on to blogging.
I accomplished very little in my day of spring cleaning, the bed now holds everything that was on the chair and every other room looks like tornado aftermath. The more I clean the more there is to clean and there are spiders just waiting to get me at every turn. Thank god fro Scrubbing Bubbles.

Salmonella Anyone?

2008-04-18T12:35:00.000-07:00

Today I was behind an SUV at an offramp in Redmond. There was a homeless man at the light asking for food or money. The man in front of me rolled down his window and handed the man a jar of mayonnaise. The homeless man graciously accepted. I realize beggars can't be choosers but who gives someone a jar of mayonnaise?

Seaside Part 1

2008-04-17T09:40:00.001-07:00

Last weekend we drove down the Oregon coast for our 2nd annual tax day weekend trip to Seaside. Lots has changed since the first annual trip to Seaside, an engagement, Cletis the fetus, planning a wedding and shacking up in the meantime. I suppose the biggest difference was the lack of alcohol...for me anyway. The trip was a blast. Here is a little photolog

We thought it was raining, but the windshield wipers didn't clear much. The next day we realized why. We must have driven through Mosquito Territory.

This is the Seaside Inn, our accomodations of choice.

Here is a picture of the paddleboats that we planned to take advantage of last year. Apparently we have made this a tradition. We didn't make it to the paddleboats this year either.

We did, however make it to both the kite shop and the beach. This is our awesome groovy Jellyfish!

It's not over til the fat lady sings...and she is getting fatter by the minute.

More pics to come...I am sure you can hardly wait.

It's not easy bein' green

2008-04-11T10:39:00.001-07:00

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/outdoors/2004337411_nwwhighlight10.html
The Green Environmental Festival is the weekend.
You may already know this.
You have probably seen one of their THOUSANDS of paper posters.

I would go but, we are taking the gas guzzling Volvo out of town for the weekend.
I write this as I drink my Jamba Juice from a styrofoam cup.

Contrary to how I might sound, I don't hate the environment, but I do hate the term "carbon footprint"
So I am hauling my ass and both of my footprints to the beach.
At least the Volvo is Green.

Mmm Doritos and Popsicles

2008-04-03T14:19:00.000-07:00

Mmm Doritos and Popsicles, and no...I'm not stoned.
Well most people figured it out when we changed the date of our wedding. Nobody seemed fooled by the "We had scheduling conflicts" party line
My favorite response to the date change was Stacey's "So is there a shotgun involved?"
Well it's a good thing I ain't got no toothless daddy waiting by the shed with his Winchester.
Although two lesbians with power tools can be just as scary. Good thing they want grandkids.
Yes, There is an Autumn baby on the way.
It's a good excuse to indulge in Doritos and popsicles.

Mayor McCheese Strikes Again

2008-04-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

I am home sick today so it probably annoys me more than it would on a healthy day.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004322352_webbags02m.html.
Another reason to dislike Mayor Nickells. It's not that I have anything against the environment. I just don't like being told what to do. Are they going to start charging us for using paper towels or toilet paper in public restrooms too?

It's Snowing at Radio Shack

2008-03-28T11:22:00.001-07:00

It's snowing here in Lake Forest Park.
I don't know which is more disconcerting...Snow on March 28th or the name Lake Forest Park?
I used to live in these here parts and I always felt silly telling people where I lived.
It just sounds like three names you pick randomly while looking around like
Tree Stop Sign Shopping Mall
or
Walking Trail Radio Shack
I think the full name of Lake Forest Park should be
Lake Forest Park Mountain Sky Air Rain Snow Mix Rite-Aid
See how well my wedding planning is coming along...

Wedding Post # 2

2008-03-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

I sit at Tully's contemplating my to do list.
There is a woman and her friend sitting at the table next to me.
She is loudly droning on and on about her wedding plans. The wedding is in October, there are 65 people on the guest list, her flowers are orchids, The have picked a venue (I couldn't quite hear over the milk steamer) She has her dress, her bridesmaids, her colors picked. I think she has done more planning than I have. It seems perfectly planned.
She tells her friend "Well we aren't offically engaged yet...I just want to be ready"
WTF!
Her friend tries hard to change the subject.
The construction worker guy sitting across from me gives a small chuckle.
I post to my blog.

Three Months to the Big Day

2008-03-27T10:02:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last decade producing and directing musicals. The typical project lasts about six weeks and all of the production value happens in the last few days before opening night. There is a lot of running around, sleepless nights, and trips to Goodwill. I craft props such as blocks of cheese out of pieces of wood, paint and magic marker and a fake chicken leg out of dryer sheets, masking tape and a wine key (I am the Macgyver of props, by the way) I stress out, caffeinate, get really bitchy and it always works out in the end.

A few months ago, I had the same attitude about wedding planning. Wow, I am naive. I didn't really think moving the wedding from the end of August to the end of June would be that big of a deal. I am a procrastinator by nature and the thought of doing anything 6 months in advance seems preposterous to me. I look at the wedding checklists and find it silly how long everything takes. It should be like producing a show. I keep thinking that, but when you produce a show you are dealing with other people who operate on that last minute, pull it all together schedule. The lighting guys at PNTA are willing to help you out the day of the show and you make last minute trips to Display and Costume for the odds and end that you forgot along the way. I think weddings should be the same way. Unfortunately just because I think something, doesn't mean it's a reality. So I am off to pull some invitations out of thin air and try to find the phone number for the photographer. There is so much to do...that is why I am sitting at the Issaquah Tully's posting to my blog.

My mother is insisting on putting a wedding announcement in the paper. She requested a picture...I like this one.

Bad Blogger, Bad Blogger

2008-03-06T11:12:00.000-08:00

I am a very bad blogger.
Well, I won't go that far.
At least I am not blogging what I had for lunch.
I haven't posted anything in awhile. It's been a little hectic 'round these parts. My show opens tonight so I am killing some time at Tully's while waiting for paint to dry. Nothing like last minute set painting. I apologize for the bland posting. You would think after the hiatus I would have something more interesting to write. Oh hell I might as well tell you what I had for lunch...so far Pocky sticks dipped in peanut butter. I blog only slightly less than I go grocery shopping.

Gena Lou Ritchie 1926-2008

2008-02-04T21:36:00.000-08:00

The late great Gena Ritchie, My grandmother, friend and surrogate mum passed away last Wednesday. It wasn't exactly a surprise but death, even when expected always catches you a little off guard. For those who would like tp attend, the service will be held at the Eagle Harbor Congregational Church this Sunday at 2:00. I have fond memories of the church. My grandfather took many a nap in the pews and the choir loft, while my grandmother would shoot glares and a well placed poke in the arm when I started to giggle. I miss her very much. Hopefully she is in a better place, a place where she can vaccuum 4 times a day, subside on Hersheys Chocolate and watch Matlock 24-7. I hope she is in a place where no one eats oranges or wears purple and tables are never sticky. She left us little by little over the past ten years and I still find it hard to say a final goodbye.

Happy Monday, Kids!

2008-01-28T13:22:00.001-08:00

Working in the schools may have some drawbacks but I still get all giddy when I hear the school closure list on a snowy morning!

Lake Washington Schools-Closed

Hee hee. yay!

Heebie Jeebies

2008-01-22T13:50:00.000-08:00

Well it’s old news now, but the British have published a study that has shown that clowns are indeed creepy. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22685723?gt1=10755
The study got me a thinking. Party clowns are hot commodity for children’s birthdays. Are there other ideas that would make children just as nervous and/or afraid and if so…I would like to start a new business.

“Heebie Jeebies…uncomfortable and frustrating parties"…not just for kids.

Kids will delight in the Marcel Marceau theme parties. Who doesn't love having Happy Birthday sung by mimes with silent intensity. Mark’s son hates loud noises and losing at anything. So perhaps a Firecrackers and Cribbage would be a great party theme. My disconcerting party would involve actors, smooth jazz, and drum circles. Dennis recommends a party of attractive, single, passive aggressive, insecure women. I think it already exists…it’s called Sammamish. "Have you heard the good news" is a bachelor party where a knock at the door by a stripper is replaced by one distributing religious materials.

The market may already be saturated with creepy. Have you heard of cuddle parties? http://www.cuddleparty.com/

What I got for my Birthday.

2008-01-14T21:29:00.000-08:00

Atop Rockefeller Center at the Rainbow Room amidst fireworks from the Queen Victoria's maiden voyage ...I got the best birthday present ever.

See the bottle of wine? Look closer.

I Heart New York

2008-01-14T11:22:00.000-08:00

Greetings from New York! This is me in front of the awesome Inn New York City on the Upper West Side. Spent my birthday in the Big Apple.

The Inn owner leaves us goodies every morning. The apple pastry cobbler muffin streusel thing is not only tasty but nearly as big as my head...and that's what I look for in a snack.

And speaking of food as big as your head...

About 30 minutes later...

News Flash '08

2008-01-08T17:59:00.001-08:00

2008 update
I still hate smooth jazz

Resolutions I Have Accomplished

2008-01-07T08:53:00.000-08:00

I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions this Year.
and If I had...I would have already broken them.
The usual resolutions wouldn't stand a chance against me.

Eat Less
Drink Less
Exercise More
Be More Organized
Stop Procrastinating
Keep the house clean.

If I had made these resolutions, I have done rather well.

Eat lots of left over Caramel Dip from our New Year's Party
Test various bottles of red wine
Consume ridiculous amounts of caffeine
Be kind of a bitch to those around me because I am stressed out about finishing a script
Pile as many clothes, towels and bags as possible on the bedroom chair.
Post to my blog
Learn how to use bullet points

No resolutions this year. Just enjoy life, love, work, home, friends, family....gin

It's Cold in January

2008-01-02T16:18:00.000-08:00

I decided to do some work on my script at a crowded coffee shop on Capitol Hill.
I am currently sharing an electrical outlet with a man who is complaining loudly to his companion
"I am so incredibly freezing"
He is sitting here in a yellow t-shirt, short white shorts and flip flops.
He did however have a plan for staying toasty warm.
He unplugs his laptop and plugs in an electric blanket.
My laptop is sharing an outlet with an electric blanket.
He is still screeching.
I think I need something stronger than coffee,
but my liver still hasn't forgiven me for 2007

Happy New Year!

2008-01-02T07:02:00.000-08:00

Resolutions for 2008?
If I had any I already blew them by mid day yesterday.
A hangover followed by greasy Mexican food, leftover New Year's Eve party dessert and a lot of sleep doesn't exactly start the New Year off right.
Diet and exercise aside, 2008 looks promising.
Life is good.
Contentment, unfortunately, makes for a kind of boring blog post.
My apologies and happy New Year!

I have a writing deadline that I have already blown through.
Expect more blog postings in the next few days.
I tend to blog when avoiding obligation.

2007-12-15T11:59:00.001-08:00

You know your relationship has reached a new level when you spend part of a Saturday morning reading "Hamster Eater" by Mark Hunt. Well, I only read part 1, part 2 is MIA and I was assured that part 3 would make no sense at all without the missing sequel.

Hamster Eater was Mark's 4th grade opus about a creature from outer space that ate hamsters...hence the title "Hamster Eater"

It got rave reviews.

Mrs Esquivel said "Excellent Story"

"An Eeking Success" said Michael Rooney

"It scared my hamster silly" Said Bryce Baker

Mark Hunt raved "I like my story"

I would excerpt the book, but I don't have the author's permission... and he took his stories away from me and I don't know where he put them. I do remember the page where he dedicated his tale to his hamsters and his cat.

Hamster Eater may just be the subject of my next musical, if we can work out the copyright issue

Plentiful Parking Blues

2007-12-13T10:16:00.000-08:00

I suppose it is time to update my profile. I have lived in Issaquah for nearly 3 months and it looks as if I will be here awhile. So it is with great sadness that I must remove “Seattle” from my location.

Issaquah has it’s advantages. It’s cute and quiet and there is always a place to park. My only worry is that I will become one of those people that gets so used to the convenience of the suburbs that our frequent visits to the city become occasional. Occasional then becomes rare. Rare then becomes a once a year hassle to see the Nutcracker or attend Bumbershoot. We will pay 20 dollars for parking so we don’t have to walk more than a block to our destination. What will become of me? What if I forget how to scout out the perfect parking place?

Parking isn’t an issue here in Issaquah. That makes me nervous. While, I like to find parking without so much as a circle around the block, there is a part of me that misses the thrill of the hunt. Parking is free and convenient and plentiful and yet pulling into a wide open parking lot leaves me feeling a little empty inside. The stalls are clearly labeled and easy to understand. I had become a speed-reading cryptographer as far as deciphering the Seattle city parking signs. I miss the challenge a bit. I am already losing my eagle eye and my finely honed parallel parking skills.

I suppose things are pretty good here though. If the only thing I have to complain about is the abundance of parking in my town…I’m obviously pretty happy.

A Weekend in Issaquah

2007-11-25T12:09:00.000-08:00

My weekend photo-logue

Yesterday we went to Target and bought a fake Christmas Tree. Well...we ended up at Target after a trip to Lowes, Home Depot and Fred Meyer. We decided aginst Mark's Gargantuan White Tree because the top of the tree would have to go in our upstairs neighbors condo. We got this little beauty for 48.00 bucks!

I am hoping a certain five-year old doesn't read my blog. You can see his unwrapped presents behind the Christmas Monorail. We haven't wrapped his gifts yet, in case I want to play "Cooties" or "Break the Ice" before Christmas

What Mark is doing while I am posting to my Blog. Well, now he's yelling with glee and stoking the fire right, but this was taken before the Seahawks stopped sucking so bad.

Neglecting the Blog

2007-11-18T09:01:00.000-08:00

I have neglected my blog of late. I don't have any great excuse, just a bunch of little ones. Much of my time has been occupied with driving to and from Snohomish to direct a show for 4th to 7th graders. Directing 4th graders is like directing cats...not the show "CATS".... it's like directing actual cats. Our show opened Friday, closed yesterday and today I am recovering from both production week and a nasty cold that has kept me company for the last 10 days.

Oh and we went to Disneyland and San Diego again, yup three times in 4 months. Toured some landmarks, saw some fire damage, ate at In-and-Out Burger, spent a day at Disneyland, did the holiday rides, saw Mark's family and headed home. It was quite a whirlwind 2 and 1/2 day trip. It was lots of fun. I hated to head home...so luckily my wish came true and we spent some quality time in the Boise airport on the way back. 4 glasses of wine and 4 1/2 hours late we finally boarded our tiny plane back to Seattle.

So, today it's off to the Seahawks game!

Go Hawks...(It makes my mother proud)

Monster Good Halloween Bash Pics-Part 1

2007-10-30T13:10:00.001-07:00

Me as the Bride of Frankenstein and Mark as Frankenstein's Creature at our Halloween Party

The "Dick in a Box" guys

Guy in the Box Guy

Flower Fairy and Circuit City Robot

Lucy

Trixie and Speed Racer

Witch and Bee in one of seven

photos where Witch has her eyes closed

Autumn Paradise

2007-10-21T09:34:00.001-07:00

I've always had this romanticized idea of the country pumpkin patch and corn maze. It seemed like a good idea. Picking out your own pumpkin from acres and acres of farm land while sipping mulled cider sounds like an Autumn paradise.

Sometimes I try to convince myself that I like the outdoors.

Silly me.
The great outdoors has mud, wind, rain, wet and complaining children and acres and acres of mishapen and rotting pumpkins.
I much prefer picking out a pumpkin from a giant box of bruised gourds outside of Albertsons.

A Procrastinators Tax Day

2007-10-15T13:06:00.000-07:00

I dread October 15th much like the rest of America dreads April 15th. The Soothsayer had it all wrong when he warned Caesar to "Beware the Ides of March"
I filed an extension with the IRS to put off bewaring the Ides of April and I am currently bewaring the Ides of October.
I should have bewared more or worked less.
Damn I hate being an independant contracter at tax time.
I am done bitching now...well at least about taxes.
Now I have to go to the post office...
That's always good for an e-rant.

Everyone Loves Jason Robert Brown

2007-10-11T11:08:00.000-07:00

In every relationship there are fundamental differences. Mark and I have much in common but can one overcome such a monumental clash in opinion? I will maintain that while opinions are purely subjective, he is quite clearly wrong.
He is a fan of Jason Robert Brown
I am not a fan of Jason Robert Brown
Among young musical theatre performers, drama geeks, recently outed gay boys and much of the general public, Mark's high opinion of "JRP" would be in the majority.
I stand almost alone in my dislike for Mr. Browns music.
"JRP" as his apostles call him is a musical theatre composer. His followers will defend his banal lyrics to the death. I once criticized his work to a fellow actor and nearly had my head severed from my neck.
It was almost as messy as the great "Skimbleshanks vs. Rum Tum Tugger" battle of '99. An argument between two young chorus boys in Mame nearly ended in fistacuffs. This was the actual conversation.
"If I were in the cast of Cats I would play Rum Tum Tugger"
"No you wouldn't I would totally be cast as Rum Tum Tugger before you...you would be Skimbleshanks!"
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"
Seriously. (neither of them were cast as Rum Tum Tugger in a local production of Cats...in fact neither of them were cast in the local production of Cats)
I guess this post was just kinda pointless...much like the lyrics of Jason Robert Brown. They just kinda go on and on like a run on sentence that goes on and on just for the sake of going on and on.
"I could eat some fish from last July
But it wouldn't be as awful as a summer in Ohio
Without cable, hot water, Vietnamese food, or you
I saw your book at a Border's in Kentucky
Under a sign that said "New and Recommended"
I stole a look at your picture on the inside sleeve and then
I couldn't leave Richard, who was with me, got uncharacteristically quiet
And he said, "All things considered, I guess you don't have to buy it"
So I smile like Mona Lisa, and I lay my Visa down"

I don't get it...but everyone else does.
To me his lyrics are much like those blog posts where people tell you what they had for lunch and document every moment of their day.
People love the guy...go figure.

Of course I am the only person I know who didn't like the Matrix or Forrest Gump.
It's too bad everyone elses opinion is totally wrong.

I have flaws...but you knew that

2007-10-05T09:24:00.000-07:00

So, I have this voice.

I was once on a date where a man told me I sounded just like Kathy Griffin. My first thought was this guy must be gay. Then I was a little offended. Then he told me "You are really beautiful, you look like my sister" At that point I didn't know what to think. Then I remembered my vow not to date guys named Eric
....but back to the voice thing.
Apparently I have a memorable speaking voice. I was recognized in a bar by a guy who recalled my voice from some obscure children's show he took his kid too. I answered my phone at Ross the other day and a woman heard me and struck up a conversation. I had taught drama to her daughters about 8 years ago. Perhaps my favorite voice recognition came from the Doctor at Evergreen Hospital, who while performing an exam remembered me as the Fairy Godmother in Sleeping Beauty. Not exactly the kind of conversation you want to have in stir-ups.

It all makes sense now. In a classroom full of chatty kids I would always get singled out by the teacher for talking. I think it was because of my annoyingly recognizable voice.

And then there is the lisp thing...Did you know I have a lisp? I didn't. A voiceover teacher asked me if I was ever bothered by the fact I had a slight lisp. I was bothered by the fact I didn't know I had a lisp! It was like when my grandmother told me I had a lazy eye. No one else had ever told me that. It stands to reason that my eye is lazy, the rest of me is. It would be a shame if my eye was the only ambitious thing about me.

Then I started wondering about my other defects. I mean there are plenty of flaws that I know about. It's the other ones i"m worried about. Are there other quirks and character flaws that I am unaware of? If so...tell me. No never mind, don't tell me. Keep them to yourself. I don't really want to know. My lathy eye and my lithpy voith are good enough.

I like the dark meat, I'll take the leg

2007-09-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

Damn, This is good stuff right here. "Man finds human leg in newly purchased Barbecue"
The story is complete with plane crash drama, good ol' South Carolina BBQ and some great names for the made for TV movie. The legless man is named John Wood and his mother is called Peg Steele....That's the best damn BBQ story I seen in years.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20982414/?GT1=10357

Trapped in a Pine Box

2007-09-24T12:28:00.001-07:00

Famous French Mime, Marcel Marceau has died.
Colleagues of the former master mime had this to say
" "
and

" "

with an especially heartfelt
" "

His last words were " "
Please join me in a moment of silence.

Planes, Cranes and Automobiles

2007-09-16T16:53:00.000-07:00

My Saturday Travelogue.
I began Saturdays like I begin most Saturdays...cursing myself for not having coffee onhand and trying in vain to function without my caffeinated beverage of choice. After a big cup of Joe from the evil giant coffee conglomerate we were on our way to "Everything Party" where you can buy everything you would need for a party. We loaded up on more Hotwheel/Nascar supplies than you can shake a stick at. Well...maybe more than a five year old can shake a stick at

...and then we tried on some hats.

Our next stop was the Museum of Flight.

This is Mark and child disembarking the Concord

We also toured Air Force One from the Lyndon B-Nixon years. It was refreshing to board a plane without having to show my ID, take off my shoes or get patted down by TSA. Unfortunately, the beverage cart retired with Nixon.

Then it was off to IKEA. We went to IKEA so that Mark's son could play in the ball room at SMALAND and I could get a picture of my favorite sign.

Apparently it is only okay to hit co-workers with a forklift.

We wrapped up the day with Swedish meatballs and macaroni and cheese and headed home to watch the Three Caballeros.

We're In The Money!

2007-09-14T09:39:00.000-07:00

Fifteen minutes (and a move to the boonies) saved me seven dollars on my car insurance.
That means I have an extra 85 cents of disposable income each and every month!!!!!
I'm going to waste the rest of my morning daydreaming about how to spend it....

Movin On Up...To The Eastside.

2007-09-11T10:32:00.001-07:00

Well...I suppose it's official. I have given notice on my favorite steal of an apartment in Seattle. October 1st, I will officially be shacking up on the Eastside.

I have some things to get used to. I have lived in Seattle proper for 10 years. (Okay except for that brief lapse of judgement, when I thought Bothell was a good idea) So, I'll put aside my decade of Eastside bashing and admit that I actually really like Issaquah. It has all of the necessities within walking distance, Room 38 is a great little cocktail bar, Issaquah brewhouse serves up a damn fine brew and a tasty Gator Gumbo, We have a grocery store, a BBQ joint, good pizza, live theatre. As an avid outdoorsmen...which I am not, I might be excited that Issaquah has a number of trails and lakes and hikey-outdoorsey outsidey kinda REI type stuff to do.

There are lots of animals around here. I feel kind of like a gothic Snow White. We have giant beetles and spiders and raccoons.

This little red eyed cutie is our newest addition. We call him "Batista." We named him after my father, the former dictator of Cuba. He hung out with us for a couple of days. He got all nocturnal and moody and ran away when we told him "As long as you live attached to this roof, you will do what I say."

You know you are living in a small town when one of your favorite pastimes becomes pointing out the misspellings on the grocery store reader board.

That, said. You can get a lb of Strawberryes for 1.99

I Just Flew in From San Francisco...

2007-09-04T14:26:00.000-07:00

...and boy are my arms tired.
My sore arms can't hold a candle to my angry liver.
Many glasses of wine, champagne and Martinis later, we are back in stormy Washington.

My series of gin soaked karaoke photos.

Mark and his manfriends
singing songs from "Grease."

We were better, only because we had wigs,
and horribly clashing dresses....and a lower alcohol tolerance.

Earlier that day...before the gin,
but after the Margaritas.

House Bound

2007-08-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

I’m a little bit house bound. I threw my back out in a completely uninteresting way. I wish it was an exciting story but alas it’s barely bloggable. That’s the great thing about a blog. You can post the most mundane and banal things and somebody will actually read them. At the moment having a backbone is more trouble than it’s worth.

I have spent most of the day in bed…and not in the good way. On the upside I have caught up on National news. I have been following the devastating fires in Greece, The “I’m not gay, I just have sex with men” Idaho senator, Bedtime for Gonzo and who will his replacement be. I hear Michael Vick has some free time.

What else is there to do but post to my blog? I don’t know what’s worse, My blogging about my boring day, or the fact that you are reading about my boring day. Are you seriously still reading?

That’s almost as pathetic as writing this while I’m watching Dr. Phil.

Get out the shuffleboard, black socks and sandals.

2007-08-24T17:21:00.000-07:00

My mama retired this week after 31 years at the Bainbridge Police Department.
http://bainbridgereview.com/
Yup, that's my mom in a flamingo Hawaiian shirt...and who says "her people" aren't fashion mavens. Her retirement party/presentation was held to a standing room only crowd at city hall on Tuesday night. It was really great to see my mom honored (and roasted) by so many people.
Nordstrom Tailored Suit $200.00
Matching Straight Girl Shoes $60.00
The look of horror when Crazy Aunt Linda got up to speak...Priceless
Happy Retirement Mumsy!

Gatchateam vs Squids

2007-08-23T00:23:00.000-07:00

Beating a team called "The Squids" doesn't sound all that impressive, but it was an awesome game. Mark's team the Gatchateam scored in a final shoot-out to win the Greater Seattle Hockey League Division 8b Championship. We celebrated at the most glamourous of local hotspots...The Renton Shari's

Steely McBeam

2007-08-21T08:25:00.000-07:00

The Pittsburgh Steelers have a new mascot. More than one person has said that he sounds like something I would have made up. Alas, I cannot take credit for my new favorite mascot (did I have an old one?) Steely McBeam rolled off the assembly line and into the hearts of Pennsylvanians and football fans everywhere. Steely McBeam or as I like to call him The lovechild of Rosie the Riveter and Steely Dan has replaced the less catchy "Stevie Steeler"

Saddened by the news, Stevie Wonder and Stevie Nicks were not available for comment.

Can you repeat the question?

2007-08-14T18:21:00.000-07:00

I was stuck in traffic behind a red pick-up truck with a bumper sticker that read
“JESUS IS THE ANSWER”
So, that being the case I started wondering what the question was. (And who still buys those Calvin peeing window clings)

Lucky for you all I had a long commute to ponder this thought.

Question 1
What word did my grandfather Edwin Ritchie utter preceding both “Would you look at this beautiful sunset” and “Get your head out of yer ass”

Question 2
“I don’t care if it rains or freezes, long as I got my plastic _______ on the dashboard of my car”

Question 3
Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong

Question 4
Who always had to hear “Since they are so close together, this will do as your birthday and your Christmas present”….and the gift was always huaraches.

Question 5
Who is still a little ashamed of Mel Gibson.

Questions 6
Andrew Lloyd Webber created an unauthorized musical biography of this biblical character and took the liberty of adding an extremely gay “Superstar” to the end of his name. Hint. Webber had nothing to do with “Goliath Superstar” though “Moses Superstar” may be in the works.

Question 7
Who wonders why even though he was born in the middle east , he is always portrayed by men who would be considered Hitler’s Amazing Race.

Question 8
Who shares his given name with many Hispanic baseball players.

Question 9
Who has a great sense of humor and wouldn’t be the least bit offended by this blog posting. Seriously, he has to chuckle a little bit at Jim Caveizel spending all that time learning Aramaic so that he could communicate with….hmm…who speaks Aramaic?…anyone? oh that’s right…it was just for a movie.

Question 10
Who is gonna be really pissed off at me if he has no sense of humor. The same guy who is not very happy about Christian rock…or Christian Slater…Or Chris Rock...but that’s another issue.

A Room With A View...of a Man and a Cat

2007-08-08T18:04:00.000-07:00

My apartment building is teeming with animal enthusiasts. I am one of the few residents without a feline companion and/or some sort of kitty bumper sticker on my car. At first glance I thought one of my wacky neighbors was trying to get the attention of his aloof pet. When I returned from getting my mail I noticed the man crawling around and pretending to pounce. He is currently hiding behind the palm tree at the foot of the stairs. I'm not sure whether I should ignore him, call the police or shake a can of pennies at him. Hmm, He's on all fours again, crawling around in the beauty bark. Perhaps it's best I close the blinds.

Ramblings of an insomniac

2007-07-22T00:17:00.000-07:00

Insomnia breeds anxiety
Anxiety breeds insomnia
Ahh the vicious cycle.
So while everyone else in the house (and probably all of Issaquah) is sound asleep, I have turned to my blog for distraction. I have already checked my e-mail, edited mistakes in my previous post (Thanks to an e-mail from the Bill Brown punctuation patrol) worked on script re-writes and class proposals, and eaten a ridiculous amount of Huckleberry Popcorn from the Bite of Seattle.

I must do something to keep me from drinking a bottle of Sangiovese and browsing WebMD for some disease, syndrome or infection I might have. I don't have any symptoms of anything yet but I'm sure I could come up with early warning signs of some rare disorder. Insomnia and excessive hunger must be a symptom of something, right?

I could watch TV but after months, I am still not sure which of Mark's four remote controls will allow me to watch television. I guess I could play Guitar Hero or teach myself how to play Dance Dance Revolution. Aww who am I kidding. I'm far to lazy for that.

Well I've pretty much run out of things to write. I guess there is nothing left to do but relax in the comfy new Queen size bed and obsess about nothing and everything.
I really have nothing to obsess about, but I won't let that stop me.
Life is good.
I guess it makes me nervous.

Back from Hiatus

2007-07-20T14:30:00.001-07:00

I have returned from my blogging hiatus.
I guess I had some people worried. All is well. I don't have a lot of time to write at the moment. I assure you, my concerned readers... I will be back to mocking the French and ranting about Mayor Nickels in no time!

This is a picture of me in Hollywood with my new love. His name is Beard Papa, and he makes the most amazing baked goods.

Mark has a thing for the Little Mermaid, I can certainly have feelings for Beard Papa. He might be a little short for me but he doesn't have a fish tail and he makes me fresh cream puffs.

Top that, Ariel!

Greetings from Disneyland

2007-06-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

I Should Be Packing

2007-06-20T12:03:00.000-07:00

Yet another example of how I only post to my blog when I am procrastinating. One might assume that I have pulled my life together and become organized and pro-active in a Type A personality sort of way. Hee hee. One would be wrong in that assumption. I am still an A number one procrastinator. I have just found other things to distract me from what should be getting done. How can one revise a full length musical when one could watch a Robot Chicken marathon instead?

So why blog now?

Well, I am supposed to be packing for a trip, finding a birthday present for Bill Brown, revising my re-written re-write of one of my children's musicals and sending out proposals for fall drama classes. Is there a better time to blog.? Probably.

I should be packing. I am heading off to San Diego with my man. "boyfriend" seems such a silly term when you are over 30. So I'll just refer to him as "my man"...or "my steady" or "my companion" or "my partner" or...
I've got it!
We'll call him "Mark."
That's code for his real name...which is Mark.
Damn.
I'm not very good at this code name thing.

So "Mark" aka "Mark" and I are heading off to lovely sunny California. I should be packing. I should be writing. I should be working. I should be shopping. I should at least start by getting dressed.

I probably shouldn't tell y'all I'm leaving town.

I should be packing.

So, if you happen to be one of my junky whore cat burgler readers and are planning on breaking in to my apartment and stealing my valuables while I'm on vacation...the key is under the mat. I am taking most everything of value including my laptop, I-pod and Wonder woman poster with me. The TV is broken and missing the remote but you are welcome to it. The DVD player works but sometimes you have to slap it around a little. If you are in the market for a ridiculous amount of handbags and or flip flops...help yourself. You are also welcome to come play with "Sparkles" my psycho three-legged rottweiller with the heart of gold. He'll be pretty hungry while I'm away.

Oh and feel free to do my dishes.

I probably won't get around to it.

Oh and try not to wake my house-sitter. He's a little skittish since "the incident"

Blah Blah Blah

2007-06-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

I know they are probably just updating their website and they will notice this at some point and take it down but...I enjoyed this.
http://www.bellevueopera.org/carmen.html

Updated

Just in case they get wise and take it down. The following is Bellevue Opera's Synopsis of Bizet's Carmen

I'm Going To Disneyland!

2007-06-12T14:52:00.001-07:00

Washington Brewer's Fest and Disneyland all in one fun filled month!
"The Happiest Place on Earth"?
Brewfest may give the Magic Kingdom a run for it's money.

My Greg Nickels Rant

2007-06-08T16:01:00.000-07:00

Shame Shame, I know your name.
...and where you work, the car you drive and your girly Starbucks beverage of choice.

I have never had much to say about Mayor Greg Nickels. He has never really impressed me as a charismatic leader but he seemed somewhat harmless. He looks kind of like a cross between a huggable teddy bear and one on those red-faced, over grown guys from my high school gym class. Y'know the kind that looked like their heads would explode if they lost the volley in a competitive game of pickle ball.

Nickels seems to have this condescending way of talking to his constituents like we are unreasonable moody teen agers. "You think you are too good for the bus?" Grumpy old dad asks "Fine I'll take away all of your parking places...HA HA HA!!! what are you going to do now Mr. Big Shot?"

I'll tell you what I'll do Mr. Nickels. I will drive around my workplace, wasting gas, polluting the air, adding to an already congested first avenue south to search for a spot. I get parking tickets, watch for the Nazi meter man-ling and move my car every hour of my work day if I have to. (I can now see Zsa Zsa's side of the story)

Mr. Nickels doesn't have to worry about this because, apparently he can park wherever he damn well chooses. I was behind the illustrious Mayor Nickels at Starbucks today. Upon exiting the building I noticed an SUV illegally parked, sticking out into the street, about a foot from the stop sign and directly in front of a fire hydrant. Apparently Mr. Nickels didn't realize he could take the bus down First Avenue South.
I wa so angry it MADE ME TYPE IN CAPS!
Poor form Mr. Nickels...poor form.
...and I bet you suck at pickle ball too.

I Might be a Little Distracted

2007-05-31T13:57:00.000-07:00

The mere fact that I ran across this article proves how easily distracted I am.
Maybe this was actually the test.
I came home for the sole purpose of changing my shoes.
I was distracted by a box of crackers.
I wondered how many weight watchers points they were worth
So I started looking for my points calcualtor thingy and couldn't find it.
I did find the thumb tacks I was looking for, so I hung up my calendar.
Looking at my calendar reminded me that I wasn't sure of the dates for our trip to San Diego
So I thought I'd look it up online.
I was distracted by the headline on the MSN homepage
"A Test For People Who Are Easily Distracted"
I read the article...I focused enough to read the entire article
And blog about it
I should find my shoes.
My crackers are worth 2 Weight Watchers points.

Oh yeah...I was looking for the dates for San Diego.....

How could they?

2007-05-15T15:32:00.000-07:00

Despite my previous post...It wasn't me.
I promise.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18682904/?GT1=9951

A Lovely Sunday Outing

2007-05-13T11:52:00.000-07:00

At what point does one "out" a new relationship?
I don't know.
I guess it's time, I mean I met him January.
So today is as good a day as any.
So I met this guy.....
Today I am going to accompany him to get the chin strap fixed on his hockey mask. (he's a fairly well known serial killer) and he is my date for an afternoon Mother's Day outing with my two moms. It is an outing I fondly refer to as Lesbowling. I I figured it was time to write something about him when the sentence "Don't Put That On Your Blog" made its way into casual conversation. So I am not going to put "That" on my blog but lets just say he has this sweet albeit creepy fascination with Ariel from the Little Mermaid. Other than that and the "Serial Killer" thing, he seems pretty awesome...

I never thought to worry about this...until now

2007-05-08T15:17:00.000-07:00

I have had plenty of time to blog.
I guess it's just a case of blogger's block.

Thank god I have something new to obsess about.
Knowing of my irrational fear of spiders, I was surprised how many people felt the need to forward This to me.
Someone even called me to make sure I had heard about it. I couldn't hear her over the sound of the crackling spiders in my ear.

Perhaps ear plugs are in order. They would serve the duel purpose of keeping spiders out of my ears and preventing the homicidal thoughts towards my neighbor and his thundering 2:00 am, crappy playlist.

Feelin' Crafty

2007-04-30T17:26:00.000-07:00

Today I learned how to make a Dog Paw Christmas stocking and a tin can totem pole. The choices are few as far as passing the time, waiting for your doctor while sitting in a crepe paper gown. I could choose between reading all of the uplifting quotes on the kitty collage on the exam room wall, obsessing over my impending diagnosis of some rare and/or incurable disease or leafing through back issues of the only magazine that Group Health seems to stock. “Family Fun”. So after I made may way through the inspirational Kitty quotes realized I’m already “hangin in there” and decided it was pretty unlikely that I have prostate cancer, I broke down and read some exciting articles about how a soccer mom manages to juggle the schedules of her three pre- teen boys. I collected ideas for making fun head shapes out of wheat grass plants and googly eyes and of course a million and one crafts to do with pipe cleaners and pom poms. Let me just say, I don’t hate children. I don’t hate families. I don’t even hate magazines for and about children and families but is this the only reading material available at Group Health? I know it seems petty to whine about this but it’s my blog so I can be self-indulgant if I want to. Maybe I am just getting old and bitchy and defensive about being 33 and childless but does everything have to revolve around being a mom?…and not just a mom, an embroidered jumper, over achieving, wooden toy only, crafty mom. So this is my petty rant for the day. The point? I don’t have one. I was just grumpy, and cold in my crepe paper ensemble with little to do. I started reading all of the pamphlets and brochures instead. There is a fascinating one on vitamin deficiency. Great…now I have convinced myself I have scurvy…or is it rickets? Something piratey.

Wait...what?

2007-04-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

I was reading this article on MSN about whether Omega 3 fats can help with ADD and ADHD. I read a couple paragraphs, got distracted and decided to go get coffee and post to my blog instead.

Back From the Ocean

2007-04-16T14:41:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a great little Oregon coast getaway, and check it out. ..

We went to Goonies rock! It's just like I imagined it...well mostly like I imagined it as it lacked a pirate ship, sunken treasure and a pre-pubescent Sean Astin. It was still pretty awesome.

NO CREPE FOR YOU!

2007-04-09T20:26:00.000-07:00

Saturday I went to see Pearl Django at the Crepe De Paris…sans Crepe. I have always had wonderful experiences at the Crepe De Paris...or as I call it now...The Paris. Apparently we started off on the wrong foot with our our waiter, Snippy Le Snoot. I’m not sure what annoyed me the most, The fact that a crepe restaurant was curiously out of crepes, that Snippy Le Snoot seemed delighted in telling us the news, or the fact that he was so entirely rude without the benefit of a French accent.

The music was great.
The champagne was lovely
Everything would have been better wrapped in Crepe.

Call Me Urban Clove

2007-03-27T23:30:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wished for a name other than the one your parents cursed you with?
Am I the only one?

Here's a fun little distraction that was sent my way.

This random renamer tool gave me such gems as

Buffy Le Hua Ritchie

Annabella Blanca Ritchie

Cosma Benecia Ritchie
Picabo Mars Ritchie

and the winner is...

Urban Clove Ritchie

Life Without Bacon...Why live?

2007-03-26T21:39:00.000-07:00

I don’t have anything against vegetarians.
They are kind of a novelty like French Canadians, Scion drivers and Larouche supporters. Individually, vegetarians are nice people. Oh sure, some are grouchy and self righteous but I chalk that up to a lack of protein and iron. As a group however, I’m not sure how I feel about them.

This weekend my neighborhood was overrun by vegetarians. It was the Great VegFest of Ought 7. My favorite local coffee shop was teeming with Vegfest goers. Let me just say, I am not a particularly pleasant person before my morning coffee. Some may argue that I am not a particularly pleasant person after my morning coffee. I was a little grumpy while waiting for my turn to order a simple cup o’ coffee. The usually fast moving line and speedy baristas were slowed down by the following questions from a pack of vegetarians.

“What brand is your soy milk…Is it organic?”

“Make sure you wash out the milk steaming pitcher before you put my soy milk in it please”

“Do you have organic coffee beans…are they really organic? Some places say they are organic but they really aren’t organic”

And my favorite
“Where do you buy the green tea that you serve here? Let me give you my card. There is a wonderful company that has all of their tea leaves blessed by Shamans”

“I don’t drink coffee. Coffee is a drug and I don’t like to poison my body with drugs”

then step aside and let me order MY GODDAMN DRIP COFFEE!

Again let me say, I have nothing against individual vegetarians. I just have a hard time trusting people who can’t appreciate a good burger.
Portobello is not a good burger
Portobello is not a burger.
It is a mushroom.You are not fooling anyone.

Have I mentioned how much I hate smooth jazz?

2007-03-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

Sounds I like only slightly less than smooth jazz.

The vacuum cleaner, faucet drips, the thousand-beat-per-second techno courtesy of my upstairs neighbor. The word "whatever", the clarinet lessons given by my neighbor, the dentist drill, filing nails with an emory board and "New Country"

Along that same line, I recently attended a birthday party for a consecrated civilian monk that included a sing along. You haven't lived until you have joined a gaggle of conservative Catholics attempting to sing Pink Floyd.

It was better than smooth jazz.

You should have heard our rendition of Margaritaville.