Apartment Hunting

So I have been looking for an apartment. Yes, I know. You all told me it was a bad idea to move back in with my former roommate. You were right. So I have looked for a few apartments. Friday I looked at...

$595 Great Location, Semi-secure building, first floor one bedroom, Quaint and cozy hideaway, New and appliances. rare vacancy.

So after looking at this apartment I have created a decoder/glossary for other apartment hunters/landlords

Great Location-Murderville

Semi-Secure-There is a lock on your door

First Floor-Easy access for murderers

One Bedroom-Studio with kinda funky, windowless sleeping closet.

Quaint-odd floorplan (walk through the bedroom/sleeping closet to get to the kitchen)

Cozy-Just a little bit bigger than my car.

Hideaway-Crime scene

New Appliances-installed some time after 1968

rare vacancy-somebody died

I decided not to apply for the Murderville Hideaway. I'm holding out for the Rapist Resort or the Shotgun Shangri la...well there is always Tacoma.