Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Smartest States... and Arizona

It's that time of year we have all been waiting for!
That’s right Morgan Quitnos Education State Rankings 2006 has arrived.

Who is the smartest state you ask?
It should be no surprise…It’s Vermont. That stuck up cable knit sweatered bitch wins every year.
What of our fair state? Apparently our collective Eddie Bauer Hoodies are tied a bit too tight. Washington rates a measly 33. Though we can gloat at ranking higher than Utah and Alabama, We were neck and neck with Arkansas for 33rd place.

YEAH! 33rd! WAHOO! Pour me a Redhook and eat me some apples! YIPEE 33!
(this also means 17th stupidest state)

Finding out that Washington is almost as smart as Arkansas is like finding out you have the same GPA as the kid who licked glitter off his shoe in second grade.

I don't really know(or have the attention span to read the whole article) how they calculate their findings. I am assuming they have a more scientific way of coming up with the ranking than the ole "Put a towel over their head" dog intelligence test.

Some Fun facts-
Minnesota is smarter than Washington. It just doesn’t sound like it because of her silly accent.

Virginia is way smarter than her sister West Virginia. WV's inferiority may cause her to start wearing all black and listening to the Cure.

Massachusetts came in second place. She got bonus points for being able to spell her own name.

Indiana is the Jan Brady of the list. Classic mid child/west syndrome.

New Jersey came in fourth. There must be some hidden wisdom behind the “Mall Claw”

Poor sweet Nevada. You may be popular. Burning Man, legalized prostitution, gambling and cheap hotel rooms hasn’t done much for your ranking…but at least you are smarter than Arizona.

Tennessee must have had a tutor or Summer school or something. Tennessee is eleven states smarter than last year!

I take solace in the fact that California remains retarded


At 11:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What no Idaho jokes? I'm hurt. Seriously hurt.


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