All Request Hour

Some people are asked to pray for those in need.
I am rarely asked for my religious help in such matters as I am neither religious nor helpful.
I receive my own special brand of requests. The follwing cry for help arrived in my inbox last night.

"Could you mock Seattle's new slogan "metronatural" so it goes away soon? I'm an insecure heteronatural. "

I would spend the time and energy to mock the new "Metronatural" but why bother? It kind of mocks itself. I have a feeling it was brought to us by the same people who monikered "SODO" and perhaps the same hip and edgy people who came up with the new hip and edgy term for the hip and edgy district around the Lusty Lady called the "West Edge." How hip and edgy.

We can also thank them for their attempt at transforming Lower Queen Anne into "Uptown" Planners came up with this one because they thought "lower" Queen Anne sounded degrading. I find it fitting. I can't afford "Upper" I think they might as well call it
"Lesser Queen Anne"
"Harder to Park Queen Anne."
or
"More Homelessy Queen Anne"
I don't think the planners cared about Lower Queen Anne at all. I think it was the people at the top of the hill that didn't want to be lumped with us bottom dwelling riff raff. They don't want to share a common name. My party girl older cousin must have felt the same way when I entered her high school. She would have happily changed my last name.

What does any of this have to do with the anonymous request to mock "Metronatural"?
Nothing really, I just felt like making fun of seattle some more.

All I can say is when I hear the term MetroNatural I picture some guy named Eric (cuz isn't everyone in seattle named Eric) au naturale, In nothing but an REI windbreaker, a manly "man"icure doing something that I don't, like... Karoake John Denver tunes or composting.
He's my MetroNatural Mascot.