Life Without Bacon...Why live?

I don’t have anything against vegetarians.
They are kind of a novelty like French Canadians, Scion drivers and Larouche supporters. Individually, vegetarians are nice people. Oh sure, some are grouchy and self righteous but I chalk that up to a lack of protein and iron. As a group however, I’m not sure how I feel about them.

This weekend my neighborhood was overrun by vegetarians. It was the Great VegFest of Ought 7. My favorite local coffee shop was teeming with Vegfest goers. Let me just say, I am not a particularly pleasant person before my morning coffee. Some may argue that I am not a particularly pleasant person after my morning coffee. I was a little grumpy while waiting for my turn to order a simple cup o’ coffee. The usually fast moving line and speedy baristas were slowed down by the following questions from a pack of vegetarians.

“What brand is your soy milk…Is it organic?”

“Make sure you wash out the milk steaming pitcher before you put my soy milk in it please”

“Do you have organic coffee beans…are they really organic? Some places say they are organic but they really aren’t organic”

And my favorite
“Where do you buy the green tea that you serve here? Let me give you my card. There is a wonderful company that has all of their tea leaves blessed by Shamans”

“I don’t drink coffee. Coffee is a drug and I don’t like to poison my body with drugs”

then step aside and let me order MY GODDAMN DRIP COFFEE!

Again let me say, I have nothing against individual vegetarians. I just have a hard time trusting people who can’t appreciate a good burger.
Portobello is not a good burger
Portobello is not a burger.
It is a mushroom.You are not fooling anyone.