Monday, September 18, 2006

I Say Stupid Stuff

I will follow up the "I am a terrible liar" with "I say stupid stuff." It's inevitable. I would love to be one of those clever sexy seductresses. I would love to be able to glide through life saying just the right thing at just the right moment. Men would leave my presence dazzled by stunning wit and charming an/or disarming personality. I am not one of those people. I often say something stupid. My actions are often dorkier than my words. I won't go into detail as to my latest social awkwardness...lets just say. I understand why I am still single.

I shall offer an example circa 1997.

I was standing at the bar chatting with a nice fellow who had just bought me my first drink of the night. He was very friendly and attractive with a slight accent. I asked him where he was from and he attempted to convince me he was from Seattle. His accent seemed to give him away. I asked if he had moved somewhere exotic and ended up back in the Northwest. He told me he had lived here all his life. Most people would let it go at that. No, not me. I am persistant in my quest to say the wrong thing. I accused him of being from Canada, Boston, or Pittburgh. He denied them all with an uncomfortable laugh. I kept guessing though. Finally after a ridiculous amount of goading he told me.
"I don't have an accent...I have a speech impediment"

Just one fun example from Deonn's Greatest Hits.

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