Monday, December 11, 2006

A Dingo Ate My Baby's Toes

Pit Bull Chews Off Four Toes of Baby
This is a little better than the first inaccurate headline I read
Pit Bull chews off Four Babies Toes.
I am not trying to minimize the suffering of one baby with four toes chewed off. That's gotta suck. But, Could you imagine a pit bull chewing the toes off of four babies, before anyone noticed?! I picture this infant-hungry canine sneaking into the nurseries of all the babies on the block, chewing off their toes and heading for the next house. Now that would be impressive. Disturbing, horrifying and disgusting but impressive.
It wasn't four babies at all.
It was one baby on one tragic night.
This is why you shouldn't hire a dog as your nanny. It didn't work out for the Darling Family in Peter Pan and I think we can all agree it didn't work out for the owners of Cujo and the toeless baby.

By the way, remember the lady who had her face chewed off by her black lab? Yeah, I am still obsessed with this story.
and a follow-up
Here is a little update. She is doing remarkably well...(except that she's still French). She has resumed her smoking habit and recently acquired a new dog to go with her new face. Apparently she was only thinking about getting a new pooch when I posted before.
Don't you just love a happy ending? I smell a Lifetime-televisionforwomenandgaymen movie of the week. (Get ready, Valerie Bertinelli)

No word on the guy who got his face gnawed off by a case you were wondering.


At 7:06 PM, Anonymous Children of a Lesser Corn said...

Notice the baby's father's middle name. "Wayne"
maybe it was him who gnawed off the baby toes.

At 7:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude love the pacman chart!


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