I Hate to Camp

I hate to camp.
I just got an e-mail from a friend of mine, asking me to go camping. Josh has extended this invitation to me four or five times. He doesn't believe me when I tell him that I hate to camp. People seem to think that the reason I say I hate to camp is because I have never done it. Of course I have been camping. I was raised by lesbians. It's what their people do. I hated it then and I hate it now. Don't get me wrong, I like the outdoors. I like it most of all when I am inside my house. I like looking at the outdoors, through a window, on TV or in National Geographic. I just don't feel the need to experience it first hand.
Camping is like choosing to be homeless.