The Deonn Chronicles
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
I've always had this romanticized idea of the country pumpkin patch and corn maze. It seemed like a good idea. Picking out your own pumpkin from acres and acres of farm land while sipping mulled cider sounds like an Autumn paradise.
Sometimes I try to convince myself that I like the outdoors.
The great outdoors has mud, wind, rain, wet and complaining children and acres and acres of mishapen and rotting pumpkins.
I much prefer picking out a pumpkin from a giant box of bruised gourds outside of Albertsons.
Monday, October 15, 2007
A Procrastinators Tax Day
I dread October 15th much like the rest of America dreads April 15th. The Soothsayer had it all wrong when he warned Caesar to "Beware the Ides of March"
I filed an extension with the IRS to put off bewaring the Ides of April and I am currently bewaring the Ides of October.
I should have bewared more or worked less.
Damn I hate being an independant contracter at tax time.
I am done bitching now...well at least about taxes.
Now I have to go to the post office...
That's always good for an e-rant.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Everyone Loves Jason Robert Brown
In every relationship there are fundamental differences. Mark and I have much in common but can one overcome such a monumental clash in opinion? I will maintain that while opinions are purely subjective, he is quite clearly wrong.
He is a fan of Jason Robert Brown
I am not a fan of Jason Robert Brown
Among young musical theatre performers, drama geeks, recently outed gay boys and much of the general public, Mark's high opinion of "JRP" would be in the majority.
I stand almost alone in my dislike for Mr. Browns music.
"JRP" as his apostles call him is a musical theatre composer. His followers will defend his banal lyrics to the death. I once criticized his work to a fellow actor and nearly had my head severed from my neck.
It was almost as messy as the great "Skimbleshanks vs. Rum Tum Tugger" battle of '99. An argument between two young chorus boys in Mame nearly ended in fistacuffs. This was the actual conversation.
"If I were in the cast of Cats I would play Rum Tum Tugger"
"No you wouldn't I would totally be cast as Rum Tum Tugger before you...you would be Skimbleshanks!"
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"
Seriously. (neither of them were cast as Rum Tum Tugger in a local production of Cats...in fact neither of them were cast in the local production of Cats)
I guess this post was just kinda pointless...much like the lyrics of Jason Robert Brown. They just kinda go on and on like a run on sentence that goes on and on just for the sake of going on and on.
"I could eat some fish from last July
But it wouldn't be as awful as a summer in Ohio
Without cable, hot water, Vietnamese food, or you
I saw your book at a Border's in Kentucky
Under a sign that said "New and Recommended"
I stole a look at your picture on the inside sleeve and then
I couldn't leave Richard, who was with me, got uncharacteristically quiet
And he said, "All things considered, I guess you don't have to buy it"
So I smile like Mona Lisa, and I lay my Visa down"
I don't get it...but everyone else does.
To me his lyrics are much like those blog posts where people tell you what they had for lunch and document every moment of their day.
People love the guy...go figure.
Of course I am the only person I know who didn't like the Matrix or Forrest Gump.
It's too bad everyone elses opinion is totally wrong.
Friday, October 05, 2007
I have flaws...but you knew that
So, I have this voice.
I was once on a date where a man told me I sounded just like Kathy Griffin. My first thought was this guy must be gay. Then I was a little offended. Then he told me "You are really beautiful, you look like my sister" At that point I didn't know what to think. Then I remembered my vow not to date guys named Eric
....but back to the voice thing.
Apparently I have a memorable speaking voice. I was recognized in a bar by a guy who recalled my voice from some obscure children's show he took his kid too. I answered my phone at Ross the other day and a woman heard me and struck up a conversation. I had taught drama to her daughters about 8 years ago. Perhaps my favorite voice recognition came from the Doctor at Evergreen Hospital, who while performing an exam remembered me as the Fairy Godmother in Sleeping Beauty. Not exactly the kind of conversation you want to have in stir-ups.
It all makes sense now. In a classroom full of chatty kids I would always get singled out by the teacher for talking. I think it was because of my annoyingly recognizable voice.
And then there is the lisp thing...Did you know I have a lisp? I didn't. A voiceover teacher asked me if I was ever bothered by the fact I had a slight lisp. I was bothered by the fact I didn't know I had a lisp! It was like when my grandmother told me I had a lazy eye. No one else had ever told me that. It stands to reason that my eye is lazy, the rest of me is. It would be a shame if my eye was the only ambitious thing about me.
Then I started wondering about my other defects. I mean there are plenty of flaws that I know about. It's the other ones i"m worried about. Are there other quirks and character flaws that I am unaware of? If so...tell me. No never mind, don't tell me. Keep them to yourself. I don't really want to know. My lathy eye and my lithpy voith are good enough.