Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Duped by the General Public at Large

Over the past year or so, I have proven to be a bad judge of character.

This is new for me.

I have always prided myself in having a certain intuition about people and situations. Normally I would be the first to recognize the signs of dishonesty, injustice, lack of integrity, flakiness, and/or instability.

I have always possessed a certain gift when it came to separating booze shmooze from sober reality and basic networking from basic bullshitting. I didn’t always pay attention to my gut reaction, but has always been there to say “I told you so”

My gut hasn’t been there for me lately. Oh it’s there physically. You can’t miss it. But it has become a little emotionally unavailable for comment. It is refusing to offer any useful reaction. My gut has become a veritable press secretary, Unable to reveal anything of any importance at this time

Monday, February 26, 2007

...and The Award Goes To....

Why Bill Brown wanted to host an Oscar Party.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

You Shouldn't Pose for Pictures with Tigers

This Bad Ass Tiger
Makes
This Bad Ass Tigger
Seem pretty inoccuous.
But guess which incident prompted a lawsuit.
And this concludes
"Fun with Tigers."

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Distraction

Dennis and I are sitting with our lap tops at El Diablo coffee.
Dennis is working on a cure for Cancer.
As usual I am doing something of little importance.
I am googling happy hours
I feel silly with my laptop sitting with my friend who also has a laptop.
I want to shout "You sunk my battleship"
Seriously, he is working on Cancer research.
I found out there is a Trader Vics in Beirut and there is a woman in an Iron lung who just turned 60.
I am trying not to distract Dennis.
I don't want to be the reason that cancer still exists.
The couple next to us will have to take responsibility for that. Couples therapy is something that should be done in private. There is a session...an actual therapy session happening at the table next to us. They are loudly discussing their hopes, fears, desires, dreams and trust issues with a therapist who keeps smelling her notebook.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Young at Heart?

Today I played Bingo with pre-schoolers and senior citizens
...and I enjoyed myself
What's happening to me?!

I am either aging at a ridiculously rapid rate or regressing back to a time where I actually believed that life was fair.

I choose to think I am more pediatric than geriatric. I really like goldfish crackers, burst into tears easily and get cranky when I am lacking sleep. I'll think differently If I start eating dinner at 4:30 watching "Diagnosis Murder" and yelling "Get off my lawn!"

I do love Andy Griffith re-runs...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I'm Wearing Red

You shouldn't wear red to Target.
People keep asking you where to find things.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

"Sweetie"

I’m pretty sure I have never used the word “Sweetie” in conversation. I have never called a man “Sweetie”, referred to a child, as "Sweetie" and I certainly never call other artists "Sweetie" I am, apparently in the minority.

"Sweetie"...it's not just for homosexuals anymore

My friend Bill signed me up for the Warren Report. I only recently started taking advantage of my subscription (very cool, by the way) I shall link them in exchange for the scotch I downed at the party. With your subscription you get free admission to all sorts of readings, lectures, movie screenings and the occasional scotch party. With your membership you also get unlimited access to use of the word “sweetie” While this is mostly reserved for actor/director/writers. The privilege has also extended itself to pony-tailed film students, and shaggy haired hobos that are probably millionaires in disguise.

The "Sweetie" came in all shapes and sizes, all timbers of voice. From the high screechy “Sweetie" oh my god it’s so great to see you” (in my scientific study “Oh my God!” accompanies most “Sweetie” to the more droll Brenda Vacarro/Ben Stein “Sweetie, lovin the screenplay” There was more “Sweetie” than you could shake a stick at. ...and I had a big stick… you never know when your gonna need to whack an actor.
“Sweetie put down the stick!”
”I’ll put down the stick when you stop using the term “Stage craft!” Whack.

To be fair the movie screening and scotch party involved far less shmoozing than the “Sweetie” fest of a live stage reading. Warren himself doesn’t seem the “Sweetie” type. He seems like a reasonable enough chap, accompanied by both wit and flask. Both events were entertaining and totally worth the membership that I didn’t actually pay for. I will probably even buy my own membership this year.

I have officially removed the word “Sweetie” from my vocabulary. It has joined the ranks of such terms as “Closure,” “We’re Pregnant,” and “Let’s dialogue”
also
The only reason to use the term “hard core” is when describing porn.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day

Ahh Valentine's Day, another one of those holidays that sound good in theory.
I am one candy heart away from a diabetic coma.
and I'm considering Hinduism.
Hindu's Valentine's Day Protest

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

WARNING:

I have never been one to heed a warning.
“Wet paint”
“Sidewalk closed”
“No parking”

"Don't date actors"
“Don’t try to make a living in the theatre”
“Don’t move back in with your former room mate

A sign reading “Don’t Touch” is the fastest way to get my hands on something that I normally could care less about.
And of course…“You don’t want to get involved with me” is the relationship equivalent to being warned not to touch the “hot plate” at the Mexican restaurant…you do it anyway don’t you?

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Obligatory Valentine's Day Survey

I have stooped to an all-time lame low in blog posting. I can't stop with the surveys. This is an especially dorky one.

Valentine’s Day Survey

Pink or Red? RED, AND IT'S MY FAVORITE COLOR

Flowers or Candy? MUST A GIRL CHOOSE? I'LL TAKE BOTH.

Favorite Flower? GERBERA DAISIES

Least Favorite Flower? DYED CARNATIONS

Favorite Gift Type Candy? CHOCOLATE COVERED MARZIPAN

Least Favorite Gift Candy Candy? APLETS AND COTLETS

Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day? NO...AT LEAST NOT YET...

What did you do last Valentines Day? HAD DINNER AT AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT IN NORTH SEATTLE AND I BELIEVE WE WATCHED A WAR DOCUMENTARY.

What will you be doing this Valentine’s Day? CONSUMING LARGE AMOUNTS OF WHISKEY AND PASTEL CANDY HEARTS WHILE SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY AND ROCKING BACK AND FORTH IN THE FETAL POSITION UNDER MY DINING ROOM TABLE...YOU ASKED.

Favorite song with the word love in the title? GERSHWIN'S "THE MAN I LOVE"

Are you a romantic? IF ONE CAN BE A ROMANTIC AND A CYNIC AT THE SAME TIME...THAN YES.

Have you ever had your heart broken? WHERE IS THAT WHISKEY?

Do you believe in “love at first sight” NO, NOT LOVE.

Do you believe in “Soul Mates”? I BELIEVE IN THE IDEA, I GUESS.

Jewel/gem you love? GREEN AMBER

Do you like oysters? NO

Have you ever had a secret admirer? YES, AND A STALKER.

Has anyone ever sent you flowers at work. NO, DAMMIT.

Most Romantic Restaurant in your Town? I'M KINDA PARTIAL TO IL BISTRO.

Best place to kiss in your town? KERRY VIEW PARK AT THE TOP OF QUEEN ANNE HILL.

Do you like Valentine’s Day? I'M ALWAYS DISSAPOINTED IN VALENTINE'S DAY.

Friday, February 09, 2007

...And another long lost photo

Marta and Marius as Frida Kahlo and Salvador Dali
Halloween '06

Thursday, February 08, 2007

More Photos from the Lost Files of '06

Marie and I.
Bernotavicius's Christmas Party


My blurry evening with the Geek Boys. J.R. and David

Long Lost Photos

A few months a go I misplaced the cord to my digital camera. During a sudden burst of domesticity I attempted to clean my closet. I found the cord...among other distractions. So here are some previouslly unreleased photos from the life of Deonn...circa October-December '06.


Me and Marta, at the opening of Brad's Art Show at the Art...Not Terminal Gallery in October.


Bradley and Myself sharing a tender and probably innebriated moment in front of one of his paintings.


This is the centerpiece from Thansgiving on Garbage Dump Road...Yup, that thar is a bowling ball decorated to kinda resemble a turkey...I needed this photo to prove that I didn't make this up.

My Step-Bro Stephen came home for the festivities. I'm not sure if you can see it but he brought his own Catsup and KFC gravy to Thanksgiving Dinner.


Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Comcast Gave Me Strep

I am going stir crazy.
I am under house arrest with a case of strep throat...another case of strep throat.
"Isn't she in her thirties?" you might ask quizzically.
"Yeah?! What of it!?" I might yell, defensively out of fever induced belligerance.
Once you are over the age of 15, you rarely get strep throat.
I'm just lucky, I guess.
Yet another benefit of working with children.

It's not so bad. I feel fine now...contagious and feverish but fine.
I'm am going a little batty...No work, no rehearsal...missed out on a spontaneous lunch date.

Now is the time I really miss cable...Wait a minute...Wait just a minute! I think Comcast is behind it all. Their glossy flyers to entice me back into the fold are not working. Yes...That's it!Comcast has resorted to sending me Strep via US Post.
Damn you Comcast and your crazy strep throat conspiracy!
Did I mention I have a fever?

Monday, February 05, 2007

The "Spider" Man

On a Saturday night, I met a man named Spider.
You all know how I feel about spiders.
I did what I usually do
I freaked out and had my date kill him.
Not really
My date trapped him in a beer glass and gently released him outside.
Just kidding
I emptied a can of Scrubbing Bubbles bathroom cleaner until he curled up in a little ball and I could hit him repeatedly with a shoe I would never wear again.
Tee hee
Okay nothing happened. I just thought it was funny to meet a man who introduced himself as “Spider” His real name was Robert but he told me I could call him “Spider” or “Big Daddy.”
Two nicknames?
I don’t think that’s fair.
I don’t think you are allowed to have two.
So I asked him about it over breakfast....
Not really

Besides I don't kiss 'n tell...er blog