Rob's Birthday

I posted earlier that I had never been to the Arboretum. I stand corrected. It was pouring down rain in early December when Rob Wallace was memorialized by his friends and family. He was hoping to have his service in the spring but he didn’t make it that far. We packed a small room at a building in the arboretum and exchanged stories about his life. Today is Rob’s birthday and I can’t believe it has been over a decade since he died. I think about him every day and have his artwork hanging in my home. Rob and I would spend hours on the phone talking about everything and nothing until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. We would rewrite history over Chinese chicken salad and quietly heckle fringe theatre performances. Rob encouraged me to continue in the theatre. He was one of my biggest fans, brutally honest and fiercely supportive, he attended all of my shows and class performances. One summer he stopped showing up. I didn’t see him at all and the phone calls were rare. Soon he stopped calling and seldom answered when I did. In late November I received the call that Rob had died. I had known him for six years and I had no idea he was sick. Rob was truly one of the most talented and brilliantly funny people I have ever met. I constantly strive and occasionally succeed at being the exceptional teacher, artist and human being that he was. Some people come into our lives and leave a mark…He left a big ole painting. Happy Birthday, Rob Wallace.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Cynthia!

No one told me it was your birthday until you had left for Concrete.

I am not sure what or where Concrete is but I hope you had a swell time.

"Four Dollars? I'll Give You Three"

Every time Brad has a yard sale he swears he will never have another. Every time Brad has a yard sale I swear I will never help at another. We have short memories, and because we also have short attention spans we packed up what was supposed to be a two day sale on day one at 2:45 and took everything else to the curb for the "Free" vultures to swoop in on.

Yard sales bring out the worst in people. Especially cheap people. There is a very special humiliation to having your personal items pawed over by strangers trying to haggle over your already ridiculously low prices.

I didn't contribute much to this years sale, but I did manage to get rid one of many comedy/tragedy masks. If you have ever studied theatre you understand that once you let people know you are interested in the stage, you will receive various comedy tragedy masks from family memebers for the rest of your natural life. Years ago my friends and I would leave them on other actors winshields. It was a fun little game until others caught on and we ended up aquiring more theatre masks than we got rid of. But I digress...as usual.

I rid myself of some clothing and a few pairs from my ridiculously large collection of flip flops. (when I was a kid we called them thongs...Insert your own joke here...Okay poor choice of words) I had a blanket to sell but I told a guy it wasn't for sale because I didn't want to re-arrange all the items that were sitting on it. Later on, this screechy little woman wanted to buy it, but I said no because she was annoying me. I think Brad ended up buying it after the sale ended.

You have to be careful what you leave lying around. Someone tried to buy my purse, another lady wanted to buy the mug I was drinking my coffee out of. If I wasn't careful someone would try to buy one of my kidneys...and haggle me down to $4.00 for it.

Flying Saucer Reclaims Space Needle

AHHH! The Space Needle has been eclipsed by a giant flying saucer! Okay it's just a street lamp...but I had you going there for a minute didn't I? No? fine. Whatever. You jaded bastards. Cool picture though huh? It only took me 7 months to learn how to operate my camera. I'm still working on the clock radio.

My Awesome Backyard

My swingin' pad may lack floor space, television reception, electrical outlets in my kitchen, and reasonable guest parking. But Kurt's right.

I have the coolest "backyard"

Automobile or Energy Bar?

My mother called to tell me that we have a new Pria. I instantly wondered what was wrong with her car that she needed a new one...wait that's Prius. But no, Pria is not an economy car. It is in fact the name of my cousin's 8 lb 6 oz newborn energy bar...I mean baby. I was hoping for Cliff or maybe a Luna but I guess Pria is a much prettier name than Zone Perfect.

Well Pria, welcome to the world and our wacky but loving family...it could be worse, I speak from experience. You could be named after the spokeswoman for the psychic friends network.

Not Hungry...Seriously

It is so hot here in Seattle that I don't even want to eat.
I am only blogging it because this NEVER happens.

R.I.P. St. Francis

St. Francis, AKA Frankie, but better known as the three-legged good luck cat has died. Best known for his howling and meowing that warned a young girl that her house was on fire allowing her to escape, St. Francis was well known in the "McMenamins neighborhood" of Lower Queen Anne. Anyone who has visited my apartment has had a chance to meet him. Neighbors considered Frankie a good luck cat. I feel honored that he spent the Fourth of July cuddled up on my couch. (Which as many of you know is only big enough to comfortably seat a three legged cat)
Yes, I know, I know. I have never been much of a cat person...but there is a little soft spot in my heart for St. Francis.

Seattle-To Do List

So last weekend I made this list of things I want to do in Seattle this year. I have lived in Seattle for oh..lets see, approximately...my entire life and there are all of the Seattley things that I have never done...or haven't done since I reached puberty. So I figured it was time to make up for lost time.

10 Seattle Things I have never done...Things to remedy this summer

I have never been to Vashon Island.
I have never been to Gasworks Park (I remedied that last weekend. There was a biker music festival, a Christian Singles group and retirement party. Gina and I picniced while trying to avaid the flying Bacci balls...those Christians are strong!)
I have never been to the Ballard Locks (I walked there from Cupcakes Royale yesterday. One more reason to love Ballard! They have Cupcakes Royale, Archie McPhee, Nordic Heritage Museum, The Peoples Pub, bowling, an awesome farmers market and The Locks. I love you Ballard ...See picture proof of trip to locks)
I have never been to the Arboretum
I have never been to the top of the Space Needle
I have not been to Mount Rainier since I was six.
I have never gone to Tillicum Village
I have never gone on a paddle boat on Greenlake
I haven't been on a sailboat since I was 13.
I have never been to the Torchlight parade.

I am trying to cross the rest of these things off of my list by the end of the summer.

Sonics and Storm

I have never been to a Sonics game. I have however been stuck in Sonics Traffic, competed for parking with Sonics fans and watched my share of televised Sonics games. I'm not that upset by the possible move to Oklahoma. (It's OK... So to speak...Is this thing on?)

I will miss the Seattle Storm a little if only for the excellent people watching and fe-mullet spotting possibilities around my neighborhood. The Storm holds no particular importance to me, as I am not an athlete, a sports fan or a lesbian.

It's not that I don't like basketball...actually, I guess it is that I don't like basketball. I know it's good for the economy, I know Seattle Center would like to keep them. Key Arena wants a face-lift and the Sonic blackmail is helpful to their cause.

I have only been to Key Arena once and that was for an Elton John concert....It seemed fine to me...even fabulous!

Me and Drunky Bear in Leavenworth.

Happy Half Birthday to Me!

Today is my half birthday and nobody even remembered. Not even a half baked birthday cake, or a half-assed half birthday card from my half brother or half sister. No half rack of beer. I did have half 'n half in my coffee this morning to celebrate. Well I didn't know I was celebrating until just now...when I realized it was my half birthday...around half past nine.

Suri with the Fringe on Top

"Where is Baby Suri?" the press has gone crazy wondering where the mystic spawn of Tom and Katie is hiding. My guess is that she is being kept in some secure remote location with Dick Cheney as her Man-nanny...Speculations a-plenty... There is even talk that she may be...oh yeah...I forgot. I don't care. ...but wait...nope still don't care.

I love this headline.

When killer kangaroos roamed the earth
Australian paleontologists find traces of demon ducks, other species


The story isn't as exciting as the headline...but here it is anyway

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/13825566/
an excerpt:
"Very big birds ... more like ducks, earned the name 'demon duck of doom," Hand told ABC radio.

I'm Sorry Your Parents Hate You.

I sit here at Cupcakes Royale listening to ponytail guy and his buzz cut common law wife trying to reason with their child. This child can only be described as unfortunate looking. He and dad have matching ponytails. Also, his parents hate him. They bring him to a Cupcake Restaurant. They both order a cupcake for themselves, refuse to get one for the kid and seem baffled by the tantrum their little donkey boy is throwing. Conversation as follows.

Ponytail Dad-Why is he upset? (It was only at this point that I realized the kid was a boy)

Buzzcut Mom-I don't know.

Donkey Boy- I WANT A CUPCAKE!

Buzzcut Mom-He didn't get a nap today.

Ponytail-Is he excited about Grammy coming?

Buzzcut Mom-I think so.

Ponytail Dad-Whatsa matter Pal.

Donkey Boy-I WANT A CUPCAKE!

Buzzcut Mom-I'll tell you what, When it's your birthday I'll bring you here and buy you a cupcake. Okay Pal?

Donkey Boy-When is my birthday?

Buzzcut Mom-June

Oh poor sweet cupcake deprived child. A whole year to wait, Pal. That means you'll have to wait 11 months to blow out the candle on that birthday cupcake and make your birthday wish...for new parents.

Apathy-It Goes With Everything

Everyone and their brother has those "Live Strong" type bracelets. Okay they have had them for awhile now, but I'm over thirty. The trends kind of pass me by until they are long gone..fer shizzle.
So Archie McPhee..genius of Ballard is marketing these mock bracelets with words like Irony, Misanthrope, Envy, and my new fave...Bacon.
I bought the one that says Apathy.
I put it somewhere.
I can't find it.
I haven't really looked.

Republican Singles

All right, who did it? Who signed me up for the Republican Singles E-mail list? I will find you. You will be sorry.

I will not date them in a house
I will not date them with a mouse

I will not date them in a box
I will not date them with a fox

I will not date Republicans
I will not date them Sam-I-Am

Gonna kick your gas!

Granted I was in a particularly grouchy mood but, C'MON!
"Okay Mr. Toyota Tercel...you wanna piece of me? I will kick you in the trunk and git all up in yer grill. You scared huh? huh? You are so lucky your Tercel doesn't have a trunk... or a grill."

I didn't actually say any of that

Redmond Arco Station 4:25 (Friday)
So there I am trying to figure out which pump to get my $9.00 an ounce unleaded gasoline. I pull into the shortest line and wait for the guy in front of me to finish up. The guy in front of me starts up his engine and looks like he is going to pull out. Seeing that my line might move a tad faster dude from a Tercel get s out of his car and comes over to my window and starts yelling at me that he was in line. I couldn't argue with him as he was in fact in line...in the line next to me.

Mr. Wrong (toyota tercel man) : Hey, you can't just pull in there. I was in line!

Ms. Right (Me) : Yeah, over there.

Mr. Wrong: You can't go next...I was here first!

Ms. Right: So...You are in all the lines?

Mr. Wrong: Yes, and thats not fair. You took cuts.

(Imagine if you will a man in his forties accusing a 32 year old woman of "Taking cuts"

Ms. Right: WHAT? ARE YOU FIVE? YOU WERE IN LINE OVER THERE! (the all caps means I was yelling)

Mr. Wrong must have a real tough time in the Grocery store check out line. I backed up and let Mr. Wrong go in front of me. We basically traded. At which point the new guy in front of me finished up and left. The new guy in front of Mr. Wrong had forgotten something and had to go back inside. I finished up and waved goodbye to Mr. Wrong while he was still waiting for his turn. (Well, I had to wave...I didn't want to look like a bad sport.)